I was just thinking… of women behaving badly

By Kathy P. Behan

When did it ever become acceptable, even “fashionable,” to bash women? I’m sick of hearing about “mean girls” and lines like, “Well you know how catty women can be.” It's common to hear otherwise perfectly-mannered people making these comments. You can bet if these sentiments were directed at a religious or ethnic group, there’d be a public outcry. And our relentlessly “PC” culture would pressure the offenders to hold their tongues.? But insulting women is fair game. You can say whatever you want about them. Why?

It's not so much that women bashing is new, it's probably been around as long as women have. But what is new is the popularity and arrogance of the position to impugn them. And frankly, since we’re inundated with images of women behaving badly on reality shows such as “The Apprentice,” “Bridezilla,” and all those ridiculous “Housewives” programs, everyone is all-too-familiar with vile females. These women put the “b” in “witch.”

Not surprisingly, these images are having an effect on our society – and it's not for the better. But what's most heartbreaking is that these slanderous lines are often uttered by women to women. That's what's so hurtful. Many women promote, or at least, tolerate? their own denigration.

Just as bad is when a woman proclaims, “Women tend to hate me, but I get along really well with men.” These dopes honestly think this somehow raises their stock. A person like this is probably telling the truth though – I’m not sure about the men liking her, but I can bet that she's not a female favorite. The reason is obvious. She has a hard time with women because they see right through her. Sorry, but I think it's much easier to fool men.

Ironically, I think women may have gotten a bad reputation because they possess a positive trait – they’re good character judges. The average woman is a master at reading people, and she can obtain, and assess personal information in a surprisingly short period of time. This ability can be good or bad news. Because women have the inside track on what makes someone tick, they know what to say or do to get closer to them, or to get under their skin. That's why depending on the circumstances, women can use their “power” for good or evil.

I know women are not all saints. I know some who are first-class phonies, difficult divas or just plain malicious. But my best friends are women. The support, encouragement, affirmation and conversation that I routinely get from my female relatives and friends is what helps keep my emotional boat afloat. Men are great, but when you’re having a quintessentially female experience – being pregnant or going through menopause, for instance – no matter how wonderful the man or men are in your life, you need a woman to really understand and relate.

Badmouthing women is toxic. I’m worried about the toll these negative statements are taking on my daughter, and everyone else's daughters. They’re getting the message loud and clear that other women are the enemy. Females can’t be trusted so watch your back. Not only is this detrimental to their own self-esteem and sense of well-being, it's also dead wrong. No one nurtures and knows you as well, and watches out and fights for you as hard, as the important women in your life.

I get along really well with women. And you can bet, I’m very proud of that fact.

Short URL: http://www.communityadvocate.com/?p=23878

Posted by on Jun 29 2012. Filed under Byline Stories, Neighbors in the news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

2 Comments for “I was just thinking… of women behaving badly”

  1. It’s amazing to me (in a bad way) how nasty and down-putting women can be to each other. No one’s perfect and I certainly have my own nasty moments, but some women just take it all-new levels of viciousness.

  2. I agree that some people find women-bashing acceptable, but there are a lot who don’t. Most of the women I know – including my daughter’s 20-something friends – are loving, encouraging and supportive of one another. When a woman IS bashing another, usually a “meow” stops her immediately; the message is that women-bashing is not expected, nor allowed.

    In addition, I think that ANY badmouthing is toxic – for both the person spewing and the person listening; a way of diffusing antagonism would be helpful in everyone’s arsenal of life skills, although it IS sometimes hard to find in my toolbox.

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