Middle school teacher helps kids help themselves
By Melissa Muntz Community Reporter

Shrewsbury - Dealing with conflict is something that many people try to avoid, often making a problem worse by not handling a situation in an eff ective manner early on. Conflict can be found in every aspect of life, and is not just limited to adults.

Kim Nikula, with the help of co-advisor Kathy Harmon, heads up the Peer Helpers program at Oak Middle School in Shrewsbury. She created the program to teach the school's seventh- and eighth-grade students the skills they need to help people work through their conflicts with others, and also help them to deal with tension in their own lives.

"I just felt that it was something the kids could really benefit from, and we're in our fourth year really up and moving with it," Nikula said.

The program teaches kids about dealing with arguments in a calm manner, the need to listen to both sides of a situation, the importance of being honest and respectful of the people involved, and how to use neutral language when dealing with someone to create better results.

"Middle school is an age of change and it's going to be rough. There's conflict and a lot of 'he said, she said' going on," Nikula said. "And these are things that they're going to deal with even as adults with office politics or neighborhood politics, so it's good for them to learn these skills now."

(l to r) Lindsee Danio, Sarah Kuruvilla, Kathy Harmon, David Audet, Kim Nikula, Nate Vilandre and Kavya Bharathidasan meet during a Peer Helpers session Nov. 30. PHOTO/MELISSA MUNTZ

Nate Vilandre, an eighthgrade student and second-year peer helper, said the program has really helped him handle difficult situations in his own life more successfully.

"It helps me in my daily life with my friends and family, like with my little sister. Instead of doing something stupid like yelling or getting mad at her, I do something smarter like just walk away," Vilandre said.

Parents, teachers, administrators and other students can recommend kids to the voluntary program, which is available to anyone in the school who feels they need an impartial third party to help them deal with a situation.

Under adult supervision, peer helpers work with other kids to help them deal with issues like gossip, bullying and problem solving.

By successfully walking other kids through their problems with each other, Nikula said, she's hoping the peer helpers will gain a better understanding of people as a whole, as well as the confidence to speak up if they see a problem that needs to be addressed.

"What we want is for each of these kids to say there's something not right going on and there's somewhere better that I can take it," she said.

For eighth-grader Sarah Kuruvilla, seeing Nikula's conflict resolution skills in action were what inspired her to become a peer helper last year.

"I would see Mrs. Nikula getting people to stop pushing and bullying people in the hallway and I thought, 'I can do that too,'" she said.

Twenty-two students are currently involved in the Peer Helpers program. Nikula said she only expects that number to increase as more people become aware of the program, and more students see the positive eff ects mediation has had on other students.