By Janice Lindsay
Ever since I'se been able to write with a pen and buy my own pens, I'se searched for the perfect writing instrument, one that would flow in a smooth fine line on all types of paper with substantial easy-to-read ink, and would feel comfortable in my short-fingered hand.
I'se failed.
Finally, thanks to the manufacturers of BIC? pens, I thought I understood why. BIC has come out with BIC? for Her. “A ball pen essentially for women!” “A stylish pen designed just for Her.” “Firm comfort grip.” “Modern design.”
No wonder I haven's found the perfect pen. All this time, I'se been writing with guy pens! And I's not a guy! All these years I'se been wasting money on pens that were designed for stud-type persons, not for persons of the female persuasion who own such fine, dainty, delicate hands as mine.
To tell the truth, my hands are rather small, which is a more personally satisfying description than the more accurate “short and stubby.” I know this from a childhood decade of classical piano lessons. Even when I was a teenager and had reached my adult hand size, my teacher Miss Mudge re-composed wide chords because my fingers couldn's reach both ends at once.
So imagine my consternation as I discovered, over the years, that, like the human population of the U.S., the pen population has grown fatter, while my hands have not grown larger to fit around them.
A pen just for Her, which I interpreted to mean a pen just for Me, might be my Holy Grail of Writing Instruments, located at last.
So I forked over my $4.50 at the supermarket for the hermetically sealed package of two pens.
The first thing I noticed: One is pink, one purple. Of course! My supply cubbyhole overflows with manly blue pens and virile black ones, none of which have turned out to be perfect writing companions, being (I see now) entirely of the wrong gender color.
Second: These two new ballpoints sport a lacy-flowery design on both the “Soft, contoured grip” and a section of the barrel. My other pens, those male-oriented rejects, are completely unadorned. No wonder I find the writing experience so unsatisfying.
Third, to my shock and dismay: These pens are fat! They are every bit as fat as their male ancestors I'se been refusing to buy. What a disappointment.
Fourth, as I'se discovered after online research: A pen-seeker of the female ilk finds? the new pens available in any point width she wants, as long as it's some variety of “medium.” Even the apparently “His” portion of the pen population offers my preferred choice, fine.
Perhaps most startling: These pens provide any color ink a handwriting consumer might want, as long as she desires blue or black. Blue or black. Are these not the same colors offered by those pens that have apparently been judged unworthy of the discerning female hand? No purple ink? Or violet, magenta, burgundy, plum, aubergine, fuchsia, rose, coral, salmon?
Could these pens be merely guy pens gussied up in pink/purple feminine dress? Fat grips ??” medium points ??” blue or black ink ??” nothing new here. Were these ballpoints perhaps not designed for Her at all? But designed to make the Hers of this world think they were for Her? Could it possibly be that there are no “His” and “Hers” in the pen world?
My two new pens are about to join their less feminine colleagues in my crowded supply cubbyhole.
My search continues.
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