SHREWSBURY – For the O’Connor family, Thanksgiving Day was less about turkey and more about togetherness.
The Thanksgiving table was always full at the family’s Prospect Street residence, a four-bedroom house shared by Francis and Ann O’Connor and their ten children. Though space in the house was at a premium – bunk beds were “invaluable,” some members of the family admit – the O’Connor family kept the doors open, hosting several children over the years who needed the shelter or company. Everyone in the large family gathered around the table for blessings of friendship, peace, hope, and love.
But it’s what came before the dinner that Jane Lizotte – the seventh of the ten children – remembers most.
Believing that the morning hours were the best time of day, the O’Connor family woke up early on Thanksgiving and attended early-morning mass at Saint Mary’s Parish. The family would place donations of food on the church’s altar and return home for some quality time. For the O’Connors, that meant exercise: walking, jogging, biking, and even sledding some years.
“[My father] taught not only his 10 children, but neighbors and community members about the benefits of eating well, exercising, having fun, living life to the fullest, being confident, kind, and happy,” Lizotte told Shrewsbury Media Connection in 2011. Ann and Francis O’Connor “cherished the outdoors,” and nothing was more important to them than family, faith, and community.
But in 1999, Francis O’Connor – who served 16 years on the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court – was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and passed away in 2007. A veteran and an exceptionally bright man who authored over 430 majority opinions, O’Connor was known in town for his “open heart” and kindness, said Lizotte. His roots in the community were deep. Francis O’Connor was active with St. Mary’s Parish, an elected Town Meeting member for decades, and chair of the Coolidge School Building Committee.
“What a person he was, and anyone you ask would share that he was the most patient, kind, loving, compassionate, and humble person. He was very faith-filled, for sure,” Lizotte shared with the Community Advocate this November. “My parents were just very giving people – to their faith, the community, and the town … He had a forever-positive outlook on life.”
After Francis O’Connor’s passing, the family searched for ways to honor his memory, and spending time outdoors as a family – especially on Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday – seemed like a natural choice. During Thanksgiving runs, onlookers frequently asked the family how they could contribute to the fun, and so, Lizotte decided to take the trot townwide in 2011, allowing Francis O’Connor’s beloved Shrewsbury community to enjoy the outdoors among family and friends, just as he once did.
Lizotte – an assistant superintendent for Shrewsbury Public Schools who previously served as the principal of Sherwood Middle School – hoped that 200 people would participate in that first Turkey Trot for the Memory. Now, almost 2,000 are involved.
“I stand in awe when I get up to the bandstand to thank everyone for coming … It’s breathtaking, and it’s so gratifying. People are there for one another, and for those they don’t even know. I stand in awe, but not in disbelief. You look around, you see the smiles, you see the laughter. We’re standing here. We’re in this moment together. We’re just joyful,” Lizotte said.
Over 90 volunteers – including many local students – volunteer for the event, which, with the help of dozens of sponsors, has raised $500,000 for Alzheimer’s research, care, and learning opportunities. It’s something that “warms [the organizers’] hearts, minds, and bodies – even on very chilly trot mornings,” said Lizotte. Aside from Lizotte, the event’s president, community members such as Dana Canzano, Pat Collins, Leigh O’Connor, Mary Beth Daly, Jim Heald, Amy Kotsopolous, Dave Lizotte, and Molly Lizotte sit on the Board of Directors.
On Nov. 28, crowds of runners lined up outside of the First Congregational Church for this year’s Turkey Trot for the Memory. The event included a 5-mile run and a 2-mile “fun run” or walk. The course winds through the areas Francis O’Connor used to frequent, including Spring Street, Holman Street, and North Street. Two-milers passed by the Prospect Street house O’Connor called home.
The O’Connor children, now part of an extended family that includes Francis O’Connor’s 36 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, still run on Thanksgiving. At least half of the siblings gather every Sunday to walk six miles around Shrewsbury with their pets. It goes back to their father’s teachings – one needs to take care of themselves to take care of others – and something Lizotte remembers seeing hung in that crowded Prospect Street kitchen during Thanksgiving: the Serenity Prayer.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
When Francis O’Connor was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1999, Lizotte remembered racing to Prospect Street with tears in her eyes. “Please don’t worry, honey,” her father said while comforting her. “Know that I am the luckiest man in the world. Look at what I’ve had for the past 71 years. I’ve had all of you and a life that’s been filled with blessings.”
That “serenity” – acknowledging what you can’t change and focusing on controlling what you can – was how Francis O’Connor lived his life, and it’s how Lizotte attempts to live hers. It’s the force behind how one family’s heartbreak became something the Shrewsbury community has rallied around, according to Lizotte.
“We only have control over what we have control over. That has helped me so much. There is so much out of our control, and I don’t want to diminish that, but what we can control – and it takes so much work, a lot of work – is our thoughts, our actions,” she said. “We can control a lot in life, more than I think we give ourselves credit for.”
During her time at Sherwood Middle School, Lizotte passed that message along to students.
Just as her late father did to her.
“At the end of morning announcements, I always said, ‘This is Dr. Lizotte. Make it a great day or not – the choice is yours,’” she said.
“And that’s so true … We can make it a great day or not – the choice is, to a degree, ours. And I’d say to a very great degree.”
