By Matt LaBarre // Contributing Writer
REGION – While the holiday season is presented as a month or two of almost continual celebration, laughter, family togetherness and good cheer, for many people, the holiday season is the most difficult time of the year. The days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day can be weighty, oppressive, depressing and lonely.
For anyone grieving a loss such as the death of a loved one, a divorce or the loss of a job or any significant life event, the holidays and the pressure to “be happy” around others can be agonizing. Additionally, that individual can experience great isolation, a sense of being surrounded by everyone else being happy and joyful, or at least appearing so. Retreating and avoiding others as much as possible during this time of year becomes a survival mechanism.
Two churches will be conducting services – often called “Blue Christmas” or “Longest Night” services – for anyone experiencing the holidays in this kind of pain.
“The holidays can make many people feel isolated and very alone, and we want to help those experiencing those feelings know they are loved and supported even when it doesn’t feel that way,” said Reverend Meghan Mantler, who is the priest at Nativity Church in Northborough.
Both the First Congregational Church of Shrewsbury and Nativity Church are inviting anyone who is looking for time to worship in a quieter and more reflective way to join them this December.
“Our Blue Christmas service is intended to provide a sacred space during the holiday season for people to find solace and comfort, people who might be grieving or going through difficult changes in their lives,” said Reverend and Associate Pastor Karen Dorshimer-Chaplin of the First Congregational Church of Shrewsbury. “Individuals experiencing loss, be it loss of a family member or loss of a relationship, or a job, or any other trauma or change may find the Christmas season especially challenging.”
Dorshimer-Chaplin said the Blue Christmas service is about 40 minutes and includes reflections, readings and meditative music.
“It’s designed to give people a way to express grieving at this time,” she said.
Mantler, who was trained as a licensed social worker, said that conducting a Blue Christmas service is prompted by the “epidemic of loneliness she and church leaders identified.” According to Mantler, the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in significant numbers of people feeling they have a “huge weight on their shoulders.” The Blue Christmas service is designed to let those people feel supported by others and by God.
“We find rituals and sacred spaces for those feelings,” she said.
The service includes quiet songs that “focus on waiting, as in how long must be wait before things get better?” Mantler said.
Candles will be lit from the Advent Candle, with every candle representing emotions such as loneliness, sadness, hurt, and anger. Those who attend will be invited to place a note identifying what they are feeling at that moment in a basket.
“Burdens and petitions can be placed in a basket in this ritual which may result in our creating new feelings, as writing those negative feelings down often accomplishes our being able to generate new, more positive emotions,” she said.
Both churches invite anyone who may find comfort and support along with a sense of a caring community to their services. The First Congregational Church’s service will be conducted on Sunday, Dec. 22, at 11:00 a.m. at the church, located at 19 Church Street in Shrewsbury. Nativity Church’s Blue Christmas service will also be offered on Dec. 22, at 5:00 p.m. at the church located at 45 Howard Street in Northborough.
