Hudson author writes about moving forward after divorce
By Ed Karvoski Jr., Contributing Writer
Hudson – Hudson native Christine Griffin has served as a town assessor since 2003. She has worked as a relationship and performance coach since 2010. Recently, she added another job to her resume: self-published author of “Divorced: So What, Now What?” A well-attended book launch took place Sept. 29 at Harvest Café on Washington Street, where she also volunteers as facilitator of a monthly divorce support group.
Griffin wanted to help others by chronicling her experience of moving forward after what she describes as “a high-conflict divorce.”
The couple married in 1998 after knowing each other for about 10 years.
“I had met my ex back in high school,” she said. “We separated in 2001 and the divorce became final in 2004 because it was a high-conflict divorce.”
Following the divorce, Griffin returned to school and earned a bachelor’s degree. Then she became a certified relationship and performance coach. She also purchased a condominium, where she lives with the couple’s now teenage son.
“It took me a long time, but I absolutely love my life now,” she said. “All of these accomplishments – as well as buying a condo in my hometown, which I never thought I’d be able to afford – really gave me more confidence and the ability to be able to do more. In 2011, I travelled to Hawaii and Italy in the same year. These are the kinds of things that I never envisioned my life to look like.”
In the book, Griffin advises readers to chart a new course by following the acronym LIFE: “L” is letting go; “I” is invest in yourself; “F” is fulfill your dreams and passions; and “E” is enjoy.
Griffin recognized that even with the high percentage of marriages ending in divorce, many people in that position feel as though others can’t understand their experience. That’s among the reasons she organized the monthly divorce support group in 2011.
“One of the hardest things that most people can relate to during the divorce process is feeling isolated and alone,” she noted. “You feel as though no one really understands what you’re going through. The benefit of this group is that a lot of people come together.”
Griffin estimates the average meeting draws six to 12 people, and sometimes close to 20. She has welcomed participants at every stage of the process, from people planning a separation to those who have been divorced 10 years. At each meeting, she encourages everyone to determine what steps they’ll take before they meet again.
“I ask them to make some sort of declaration in order to move forward – whether it’s cleaning out your ex’s closet, or filing the divorce papers,” she said.
Even before considering to write a book, Griffin kept a journal before, during, and after the divorce.
“People going through a divorce need to spend some time in self-reflection,” she said. “Journaling is a therapeutic way for me to put down my thoughts in a nonjudgmental form. That’s when you’re going to be really honest with yourself. Oftentimes when you’re speaking with a friend you might leave out details or not be 100 percent honest. But when you really start becoming honest with yourself, that’s when you can start making progress and impacting changes in your life that will move you forward. The message in my book is essentially about finding a way to get past the divorce and move forward.”
For information to attend the support group, contact Griffin at firstname.lastname@example.org.
“Divorced: So What, Now What?” is available at amazon.com or christinegriffin.net.
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