To the Editor:
I’m old, not ancient but old, a ripe 61 years to be exact. I have a few things to say about the newly-uncovered “college cheating scandal”.
Here’s my list:
- Money talks…but it shouldn’t. Okay, you’ve been blessed, through hard work, talent or inheritance with oodles of money…that’s great, congratulations! So maybe you can ‘buy” your way into fancy restaurants, private golf clubs, and car dealerships. But that doesn’t mean you can buy your kid’s way into Stanford, Georgetown, or Yale. Nope, that’s plain wrong, it’s not allowed and according to the FBI it’s illegal!
- Focus on YOU and your life not your adult child….you’ve been blessed with millions, too much cash to know what to do with…think about spreading the wealth around. Start a real charitable trust fund that helps a group of people and/or animals that you feel passionate about helping. Here’s the frosting on the cake caveat to this one….you will be setting a great example for your child….teaching that helping others is a sign of character, intelligence and true leadership and love.
- Accept your adult child unconditionally…look closely and honestly at your child…what are his or her inherent strengths and weaknesses; what is your child able to do now to pursue the start of their journey. What can you do to help your child…get to know him as a person, love him and nurture and grow the amazing gift of friendship you’ve been given. Allow your child to pursue his dreams, allow him the right to fail, to pick himself back up, to shake off the hurt and to rethink his journey…his journey not yours. Be your kid’s loudest and biggest cheerleader; tell him how proud you are of who he is becoming—inherent character traits that evolve over time with unconditional acceptance and love.
And how do I know all these things? Well, I don’t but I’m learning. I’m learning because I have two great kids who’ve taught me the most important lesson in life…it’s their journey not mine—time to relinquish control that you never really ever had any how and let them fly. Finally, if you want your kids to be successful…lead by example…being caught in an FBI bribery, cheating scandal isn’t a great place to start.
Maureen McNamara
Westborough
